Sat. 8am-9am

STEPHEN’s latest article…..(UNEDITED)

And for those of you who just joined me let me bring you up to speed. The was one night I was home cooking dinner and there was something strange. At first I could not identify the strange, so I kept cooking (& singing I’m sure it was Journey). The it hit me,I knoew what was strange there was no fighting, and I just continued with my “Little House on the Prairie” moment singing The wheels In the Sky…then I realized OHHH MY GOD IN HEAVEN….my 6yr old “Dirty Dancing Jersey Diva, was not home from dance class…I forgot to pick her up! Fortunately, I got the Diva. Unfortunately when I returned home there were four fire trucks in my driveway, apparently I left the stove on! Some (the insurance company) call it negligence. I call it multitasking, whatever. Needless to say the kitchen is destroyed and has remained this “Please pardon our appearance” mode for ohhh about a year. So some people (Big Mamma..my wife) who will remain unnamed, are becoming a bit salty I’ve noticed. I’ll concede, we have plywood floors that look like a stained glass window from a turn of the century church..complete with exquisite colors from the smashed strawberries, chocolate syrup,mint ice cream. Yes there have been spills of tuna fish on that floor and I’ll admit that does not help things. I’ll also admit there have been times that insulation has fallen from our exposed ceiling and I’ve picked it out of my scrambled eggs. Ok Ok it’s not been good. But let’s all have a positive attitude here. We’re all rowing on the same boat. You should see Big Mamma when someone knocks on our door, she puts on this Jersey swagger and starts pointing out stuff ..all pissed off..like a stay at home mob wife from the Goodfells..”and do you believe this? “This is how I’ve been living ..look at this” as she points to all the Tupperware piled (Stacked and falling) in the bay window. Then Big Mamma glares at me..Like the tupperware is some x-girlfriend of mine on face book friend list! I don’t get it, can’t we just look at the bright side of things..Sure the toaster is in the freakin bathroom, but you can have a bagel toasting while you pee! (Hell you can even get the bagle as you do that squat walk to find toilet paper..cuz it’s always gone!)

Anyway, it’s getting to the point where it’s all my fault that it’s not done. Like when contractors don’t show up when they say…there’s no nooky that night for me. When a contractor does something incorrectly or leave a mess she won’t talk to me..I mean it’s getting bad. Then the cabinet guy…oh man he’s killing me..we’ve been waiting for months. Finally finishes he the damn things and they’re completely wrong… I did not know what to do. I could not tell her, so I made up some story about a flood at his shop.( I was afraid she’d freak out and leave me WITH ALL THE KIDS if I said he had to re-make them) Now work is at a standstill until the cabinets arrive. So to save my marriage and distract Big Mamma I decided to shift the focus to the yard. Easy enough I thought, take some trees down, bring in some dirt, put in sprinklers, plant grass; should be fine. And weeks go by no one is allowed on the grass seeds. And its hard, I have four kids and we’re all waiting and waiting to use new back yard. Finally after five weeks, still no grass, I check the sprinklers and they’re not even turned on! (I could not tell the Big Mamma…so I said the grass caught a fungus and must have died..”it’s very common” I said) And to make matters worse, without any grass all this dirt was eroding and I was loosing huge sections of the yard. So I had a guy come out to pour a concrete retaining wall. It’s great the guy shows up right away to start the work (with his pick up truck from 1982 that leaks oil all over my driveway) and we’re all excited to get this done. Concrete truck shows up all is good except the concrete guy has a disease and I know all about it

because my ten year old son suffers from this annoying disease…people who have it hear what they want to hear and they’re always right!!! A Terrible disease to have! Also a terrible disease for a concrete guy to have because we ended up with a wall so TALL it can be seen on Google earth! And just like my ten year old the concrete guy turns around and blames on someone else!! He blames it on my wife says she talked him into it.

Finally a stopped, I was like wow. I am an idiot. I’m making a complete mess of this house. First I lit my kitchen on fire, and for a year it looks like and abandoned summer cottage from a horror film. And now as you pull up the drive way you’re greeted by this towering concrete wall that could serve as a foundation for a skyscraper..and of course behind that is my beautiful back yard that resembles the dry dirt landscape of a village in Ecuador. At that point I gave up went inside and decided to save Big Mamma the aggravation and I opened up an account for her on Match.Com

the class schedule (which you will be able to get online as well this TUES.)

My cell is 781-626-1745 Text me (or call) and let me know what a good day/time is for you to come in and I will do my best to make it happen on my end!

508-746-1000 is the # at the gym.

ALSO – if you can’t make a tour but want to sign up for the gym – text or email me and I will make that happen as well. You want to get the Early Bird Special!

Hope everyone enjoyed their Labor Day and

IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!!!